What a terrible attitude I have had this week. It’s easily excused by hormones, too much on my plate, an out-of-town husband (thankfully home now), whining children, and coutnless potty-training accidents – you might say I had every reason to be grumpy, but ordinarily these things would not phase me. I am no saint, but I am a woman, and we ladies have a way of taking things in stride, generally. But not for me, not this week. I have begrudged every inconvenience, and evenutally all I wanted to do was climb under the covers and shut out the world until I “felt” restored. But, don’t I know better? Have I not walked through these waters before? Indeed, wallowing in self-pity is most certainly not the answer – no that just provides more fuel for the fire. And I used to believe that self-examination, seeking to discover the reason behind my mood, would help, but again, it just left me more confused.
I have walked this road before, though, and emerged on the other side with a changed outlook on life. It is prayer, and in partcular – prayers of thankfulness that bring about the change. Literally counting blessings. So that’s what I will do, right here, right now, and trust the Lord to change my heart, and my sorry attitude. I have so much to be grateful for:
- My babies, playing together, and making eachother laugh.
- Catching eyes with kind, compassionate women
- Small victories, like baking bread, or getting all the dishes done
- Good books
- A good, long hug from my husband
- Old movies
- Neighbours laughing
- Vegetables growing in the garden, despite my inexperience
- Bedtime kisses from my babies
- Tomatoes from the market
- Hope rising
- Sheep grazing in a field
- Long drives in the country
- Dreams and plans for the future
- My name in the Book of Life
And there is more, so much more, but that last one…that’s where it all begins, and all ends.